Tobi Allen… Pooch Extraordinaire

It is a twofer Thursday…

As I am making my trip to hang in the ‘Bucks with the Earl and the fritter, and while I am testing the brakes and my sphincter (mentioned in the other post this morning), my dear wife calls…

Apparently, the fine canine that is Tobi Allen, has gone AWOL again. She and I discuss where he might be. I make a couple suggestions like he might be trapped in the office. He goes in there sometimes, and I close the door without knowing he went in. Also, he might have slipped past my son and I when we were outside looking for my paper. Young son #1 tends to leave the door open, and Mr. Allen takes advantage of that opportunity when he thinks he can get away with it. For the record, I did not find my paper this morning (do you hear that WSJ?!?!?!?),

She called me back after a few minutes to let me know that everywhere she had looked had turned up ZIPPO, NADA, no walking carpet, or canine for that matter. We talk for a few moments, and decide that since he has come home before, he probably would this time. I hang up, and continue dealing with the AS*****S mentioned in the previous post…

A few more minutes pass…

The phone rings, and low and behold, Tobi Allen has been found. Where you might ask? UNDER MY PILLOW IN THE BEDROOM!!! J had looked in there for a bit, looking in he closet, under the bed, the bathroom, but had turned up nothing. There he was, just hanging out under the pillow. J said hat when she asked him what he was doing under the pillow, he just looked at her with his big bat ears, and wagged his tail.

Dogs, go figure…

The End

KORBEK

The Rush Hour Sphincter Factor

I left the house around 6:10 this morning to hang with the Earl and the fritter. Along the way, I ran into, how do I say this… Hmm, let’s just put it out there: AS*****S!!!

Traffic was pretty bad this morning, and I was doing my best to observe everything around me so as not to become a statistic or a report on the Sirius/XM DFW traffic report. Well, apparently, I did not get the AS****E Thursday memo, because some douche bag felt it necessary to tailgate me for a good tenth of a mile before he banked left, swerved around my car, cutting off two others, just so he could cut in front of me, then put on his brakes! Oh sir, you are so droll, and if you have read my blog in the past, you are also a GREAT AMERICAN!!!

I guess cutting off the little blue Ford Edge was not all the ignorance he had in mind. Once he got near a merge lane, he swerved into it, cutting off several merging cars so he could gain a couple seconds on his commute. Deep inside, I really hoped that as my journey progressed, I would see a red Ford truck with a sticker that read HB on the lower right of the tailgate in the ditch somewhere, or better yet, pulled over by Mr. Johnathon Litigator. Alas, it was not to be…

That was my first “pucker” experience this morning. The second was no less dangerous, but not nearly as dramatic…

As I continued on to my morning appointment with the Earl, this 53 foot (that’s what it said right there on the trailer) big rig decided he wanted to get over into traffic, so he did. I had the opportunity to fully test the brakes this morning, and I am happy to report that they work!

AS*****S!

That is all

Take a few extra moments to cut someone off today on your way down the road. I am sure they will appreciate it. If you see the little blue Ford Edge, try to remember I have been cut off twice today, and I believe in baseball… THREE STRIKES, AND YOU WILL BE OUT! Have a GREAT day! AS*****S…

KORBEK